Ruminating

I've been using that word a lot since my divorce. To "ruminate" means to ponder thoughtfully, or let thoughts spin around and around in your head. However, when I looked up the word on Wikipedia, it gave the real meaning: when an animal chews food, regurgitates it, and chews on the cud again.
Oh. Gross.
I had no idea I was using such a disgusting word to explain my feelings. But it really is a disgusting thing ~ to think about the same thing over and over again. Many times, I don't even know what I'm thinking because it's spinning by me so fast. But I know it's happening because I'm in a fog, and my ears even start ringing sometimes.
That's where I am this morning. My ears are ringing and I'm finding myself standing in the middle of the kitchen, gazing out the window, wondering why I came in there in the first place. Oh yeah, I remember. To put the screw driver in the refrigerator. Wait a minute ~ that doesn't go there.
If I can get my mind to settle down for a hot second, this will be a very relaxing week. There's lots to organize and accomplish, sure, but nothing terribly pressing. Teaching will be difficult, but will probably help my cud-chewing brain to calm down and focus in on one task.
What is spinning through my mind anyway? Wait, let me stop and listen for a sec.
Nope. Nothing.