i'm on the last couple chapters of a great, life-changing book, "THE WRITING DIET" or "WRITE YOURSELF RIGHT-SIZE", by Julia Cameron, who also wrote "THE ARTIST'S WAY" another life-changing book for me!
this chapter i just read is about dessert, and at the end of each chapter, there is a task. this one is about creating a list of sugar-free desserts, of which there are many. one recommended in the book was frozen fruit, ricotta cheese and a touch of splenda, blended together, and you have a fake ice cream, so to speak. great idea! i would use honey because i don't like splenda, but it's a great idea.
here is my list. PLEASE add some in your comments if you have any! and take my ideas if you like them and let me know what you think!
1. a spoonful of honey. pure heaven, if you ask me.
2. cut a banana lengthwise and throw it in a frying pan with the tiniest bit of butter. like a 1/2 teaspoon. carmelize and add cinnamon.
3. do the same with pineapple. oh man.
4. bake or microwave an apple or a peach and add cinnamon and splenda or honey on the top.
5. yogurt with frozen blueberries, warmed up in the microwave. add slivered almonds if you need crunch.
6. fruit. really good fruit. spend some money on it.
7. granitas. this takes some time, but i bet it would be fun in the summer. take your favorite unsweetened juice, like natural cherry or pomegranate, etc. add lime juice and brewed and cooled mint tea. pour it in a shallow tupperware and throw it in the freezer, scraping the top with a fork every two hours, until the entire thing is little crystals. yum! (i just made up that mint tea thing. how cool! might not work, though. i'll try it and see)
8. i love dried fruit, but dried cherries, figs and dates are my favorite. those are never added to a trail mix, but i think i would reach for a trail mix more readily if those favorites, sunflower seeds and nuts, would be used. yum!
okay, now she says to treat yourself with one of these desserts every day of the week and see how you feel. she is really saying NO sugar as a rule. i don't think that's a bad idea. i'm pretty much there, but could definitely use a boost to go the whole way.
by the way, i had the time to pick up this book today, because i did it instead of eating. i'm on a mini fast until friday and i already feel like i have backed away from "need this need that". i don't really need a sandwich ~ i need peace. i need time. i need to feel like God is providing for me. so i thought a fast was a good idea. and this being Holy Week, what better time? anyone out there have any suggestions? i'm drinking tons of water, eating some nuts and fruit when i really need energy. maybe some hot tea later. lots of quiet. lots of prayer. writing. it may not last as long as i want it to, but when God plants this idea into your head, and i think it is God, it's more fun to listen and go with it...
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
monday, monday...
you know your weekends are too busy when you look forward to monday. and here it is and it's wonderful. so quiet, serene, and lonely. just me and my coffee, my blog and my bathrobe.
i love to perform. it is definitely my vocation, or calling. but this weekend took me down, and last weekend was even more packed. i keep trying to tell myself that this extra money will really pay off in the summer, when i'm sitting around with my finger up my nose. and i am trying to live in the moment and really do love the music i am working on. but everything that's crammed in and around it can go take a flying leap.
this weekend was a personal worst for me. i ran around like a chicken with her cut off, and then, when it came to the performance, i was a pig! with mozart, no less! i missed a note, big time, which sounds really obvious when it's mozart. oh well, i made sure i was darn musical for the rest of the concert and got the heck outa there as soon as i could. i hope the reviewer, who was seated on the front row, will be kind to me...
i know people have busier lives than mine, but i have certainly taken on more than i can handle, and it has put in jeopardy my ability to be a good, thoughtful, loving person.
THIS IS ALL THAT MATTERS IN THE END. my father died with an absolute legacy. what was it? he was such a great, nice, good, thoughtful, caring man. that's it. that's all. okay, so he was also crafty, handy, a genius under the hood, very musically talented, smart, fun to be around, and had the greatest smile. he was tight with money, and therefore left us with no financial issues.
but in the end, he was a great man. that's all anyone ever wants to say about him. i want to be a great woman. great singer? sure. but i want people to talk about what a great person i was FIRST.
here is what i've learned this weekend:
if your life is so busy that you cannot be there for people, than your life is too busy.
if your life is so busy that you cannot drive the speed limit, than your life is too busy.
if you cannot go more than an hour without checking e-mail, voicemail or text, than your life is too busy. unplug. turn it off.
(i did that on sunday night and missed several calls and texts. are those people still alive this morning? one can only hope.)
the best thing i did all weekend was make healing and loving meals for my boyfriend, who had an even WORSE weekend than i. my new invention, a creamy dill salad dressing, trumped my bad mozart performance with one hand tied behind its back. and the "let's forget about this horrible weekend" peanut butter/chocolate cookies, erased and reset all negative emotions. and they didn't even have flour in them!!!
i have to rethink next year, because i never want to feel like this again. spent. weary.
mistakes are only stupid if they're made over and over.
i love to perform. it is definitely my vocation, or calling. but this weekend took me down, and last weekend was even more packed. i keep trying to tell myself that this extra money will really pay off in the summer, when i'm sitting around with my finger up my nose. and i am trying to live in the moment and really do love the music i am working on. but everything that's crammed in and around it can go take a flying leap.
this weekend was a personal worst for me. i ran around like a chicken with her cut off, and then, when it came to the performance, i was a pig! with mozart, no less! i missed a note, big time, which sounds really obvious when it's mozart. oh well, i made sure i was darn musical for the rest of the concert and got the heck outa there as soon as i could. i hope the reviewer, who was seated on the front row, will be kind to me...
i know people have busier lives than mine, but i have certainly taken on more than i can handle, and it has put in jeopardy my ability to be a good, thoughtful, loving person.
THIS IS ALL THAT MATTERS IN THE END. my father died with an absolute legacy. what was it? he was such a great, nice, good, thoughtful, caring man. that's it. that's all. okay, so he was also crafty, handy, a genius under the hood, very musically talented, smart, fun to be around, and had the greatest smile. he was tight with money, and therefore left us with no financial issues.
but in the end, he was a great man. that's all anyone ever wants to say about him. i want to be a great woman. great singer? sure. but i want people to talk about what a great person i was FIRST.
here is what i've learned this weekend:
if your life is so busy that you cannot be there for people, than your life is too busy.
if your life is so busy that you cannot drive the speed limit, than your life is too busy.
if you cannot go more than an hour without checking e-mail, voicemail or text, than your life is too busy. unplug. turn it off.
(i did that on sunday night and missed several calls and texts. are those people still alive this morning? one can only hope.)
the best thing i did all weekend was make healing and loving meals for my boyfriend, who had an even WORSE weekend than i. my new invention, a creamy dill salad dressing, trumped my bad mozart performance with one hand tied behind its back. and the "let's forget about this horrible weekend" peanut butter/chocolate cookies, erased and reset all negative emotions. and they didn't even have flour in them!!!
i have to rethink next year, because i never want to feel like this again. spent. weary.
mistakes are only stupid if they're made over and over.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
every morning, after my snooze button exercises (5 or 6 reps ~ good for the arm), i stumble out of bed and into my kitchen. as i go through the routine of coffee making, my brain is a blank slate, apart from the usual "checklist" ~ am i late? no. whew. does my stomach hurt? not this morning, but my feet hurt. hmmm. headache too. need water.
but other than the basics, my brain is back in default mode and the night has helped me reset. by the time the coffee is made, i have pulled up my e-mail and have started to panic. i WILL NOT panic today, though. yes, there are little nagging tasks that need to be remembered, and pulling up my e-mail only reminds me, or presents new ones to me. why do i even check my e-mail this early and destroy that beautiful clean slate? because i know i only have until early afternoon to accomplish it all, and then i teach until i drop. so this is my time to be productive. but i just wish i could hold off for a few hours, and read something wonderful and inspiring, workout, take a yoga class, or a ballet class would be even better! or just have coffee with a friend. i miss that.
in summary: i'd love to have more free time. and i know everyone says that, and i also know that i actually do have more free time than the average person. but it doesn't feel like free time. it feels like panic time.
last night, i had a night off. a rehearsal was canceled and a student canceled her lesson. i came home, walked in the beautiful weather, read a little on my neglected couch, and took a little snooze. then i got up and made an easy dinner ~ salad and frittata with leftover pasta. i worked on a little music and put a movie in. this is what i miss. the evenings where you can detox from the crazy days. i could actually handle the crazy days if i had just a few evenings a week like last night. i KNOW that i am able, this morning, to choose no stress because of last night. even though tasks pop into my head that need to be done, i am able to bat them away and put myself first for a few minutes, by blogging, which is very therapeutic.
listen, i have everything i need to be free, happy and content. i just have been misusing my time.
anyone else out there doing this?
but other than the basics, my brain is back in default mode and the night has helped me reset. by the time the coffee is made, i have pulled up my e-mail and have started to panic. i WILL NOT panic today, though. yes, there are little nagging tasks that need to be remembered, and pulling up my e-mail only reminds me, or presents new ones to me. why do i even check my e-mail this early and destroy that beautiful clean slate? because i know i only have until early afternoon to accomplish it all, and then i teach until i drop. so this is my time to be productive. but i just wish i could hold off for a few hours, and read something wonderful and inspiring, workout, take a yoga class, or a ballet class would be even better! or just have coffee with a friend. i miss that.
in summary: i'd love to have more free time. and i know everyone says that, and i also know that i actually do have more free time than the average person. but it doesn't feel like free time. it feels like panic time.
last night, i had a night off. a rehearsal was canceled and a student canceled her lesson. i came home, walked in the beautiful weather, read a little on my neglected couch, and took a little snooze. then i got up and made an easy dinner ~ salad and frittata with leftover pasta. i worked on a little music and put a movie in. this is what i miss. the evenings where you can detox from the crazy days. i could actually handle the crazy days if i had just a few evenings a week like last night. i KNOW that i am able, this morning, to choose no stress because of last night. even though tasks pop into my head that need to be done, i am able to bat them away and put myself first for a few minutes, by blogging, which is very therapeutic.
listen, i have everything i need to be free, happy and content. i just have been misusing my time.
anyone else out there doing this?
Friday, March 12, 2010
yesterday and i played hooky. from 4:00 to 7:00, i threw caution to the wind and ignored all responsible voices in my head, not that there are that many, and only obeyed the fun voices, of which there are VERY many. i spent money, buying frivolous luxuries like eye shadow and yet another cardigan (except cardigans are never frivolous. they are my secret source of power), ate delicious and fattening food, and drank a martini at 4pm, before a rehearsal no less!
it was wonderful.
i have to say that every dime was well spent. every calorie enjoyed immensely. naturally, these 3 hours should have been spent working out, starting laundry, making my usual rabbit food at home, saving money and, of course, practicing. but i loathe and despise the word SHOULD. if i should have done those things, i would have done those things. in all honesty, i should have treated myself, because that's what i did. don't we really know ourselves by now, after all those oprah episodes and self-help books? didn't i know that those 3 hours were going to be so good for me? i must have known, because i'm sitting here in my adorable cardigan and my lavender and gold eyelids, writing about the joy of that choice. so it must have been the right thing.
my advice for the day: stop shoulda coulda woulda-ing and just make the right decisions for yourself. define what right is for you and only you. it may not be what suzie ormand recommends, but she doesn't know you.
it was wonderful.
i have to say that every dime was well spent. every calorie enjoyed immensely. naturally, these 3 hours should have been spent working out, starting laundry, making my usual rabbit food at home, saving money and, of course, practicing. but i loathe and despise the word SHOULD. if i should have done those things, i would have done those things. in all honesty, i should have treated myself, because that's what i did. don't we really know ourselves by now, after all those oprah episodes and self-help books? didn't i know that those 3 hours were going to be so good for me? i must have known, because i'm sitting here in my adorable cardigan and my lavender and gold eyelids, writing about the joy of that choice. so it must have been the right thing.
my advice for the day: stop shoulda coulda woulda-ing and just make the right decisions for yourself. define what right is for you and only you. it may not be what suzie ormand recommends, but she doesn't know you.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
spreeeeeeeeng!!!!
there is the coolest bird outside my living room french doors. he sounds like a siren, not sliding down, but starting low and sliding up, and always twice. then a break. then twice again. oooweee ooowee? like a question. spring? spring? you here? really? really?
my sentiments exactly. you here? finally? cuz i thought i was going to have to fly the coop and move to the beach or something. which is still not a bad idea. never a bad idea.
with spring, i must awaken, and abandon my blues completely. blue is just not a good color on me, and i have been wearing it, and a lot of black as well. the winter really got to me. the weather, my father being gone forever, my job taking all my energy, and my body? oh. my. gosh. my body is a series of blobs glued to bone, squishy and pale. i HATE my body. i have never hated my body this much. it is such a downer and i am such a downer to around, thanks to this new hatred.
but all you can do is cover it with cute clothes, accessorize the hell out of yourself, and work out like you know you'll be on the next cover of sports illustrated. and cross your fingers that it'll work.
my sentiments exactly. you here? finally? cuz i thought i was going to have to fly the coop and move to the beach or something. which is still not a bad idea. never a bad idea.
with spring, i must awaken, and abandon my blues completely. blue is just not a good color on me, and i have been wearing it, and a lot of black as well. the winter really got to me. the weather, my father being gone forever, my job taking all my energy, and my body? oh. my. gosh. my body is a series of blobs glued to bone, squishy and pale. i HATE my body. i have never hated my body this much. it is such a downer and i am such a downer to around, thanks to this new hatred.
but all you can do is cover it with cute clothes, accessorize the hell out of yourself, and work out like you know you'll be on the next cover of sports illustrated. and cross your fingers that it'll work.
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