so, i'm stealing the idea which made julie powell famous. she made her way through julia child's "mastering the art of french cooking". i love her book, i love the movie, i'm sure i would love her blog, and i love cooking.
i also love setting goals. making a discipline fun, rather than, "i can't have that", or "that's an illegal food". instead, how about a project that involves making my way through a delicious, healthy cookbook?
the one i choose is "clean start: inspiring you to eat clean and live well" by terry walters, author of best-selling "clean food". it's a gorgeous, hard-bound book with beautiful pictures and lots of interesting ingredients used, like arame, which is a sea vegetable. sounds intriguing. anything to distract me from the dismal, dead winter out there.
if i make my way through this book between now and the wedding, think of all that clean food i will have eaten! all those meals full of vegetables and protein-rich grains and fruits.
so here we go!
FOUR MONTHS TILL THE WEDDING (122 DAYS)
100 RECIPES
RECIPE #1: THURSDAY NIGHT, JANUARY 27
the first recipe i tried was page 34: SEARED ARTICHOKES WITH LEMON AND CAPERS. and what an incredible way to start. i have never eaten anything so decadent. i'm glad i was alone, because i was licking my fingers and making the worst smacking noises, and moaning at the table. i couldn't help it. i've always used canned artichoke hearts. i love the flavor and they're easy. the real artichokes seem like so much work, and i thought i'd have to peel and prepare so many to make just one recipe. no. i only prepared two and this recipe made a whole plate, which, that night, ended up being my entire meal. but if you served it with a meat and another vegetable, it would be perfect.
when i put the prepared and quartered artichokes into the boiling water, within 30 seconds, there was the most flavorful, rich aroma. almost like chicken stock or something. which leads me to believe that if you took that boiling water and started a homemade chicken stock or vegetable stock with that water, it would be incredible. worth trying. but the smell of those chokes cooking smelled nothing like the canned ones. i knew they were going to be a treat.
while those are boiling, you make a dressing and basically braise the boiled chokes in a pan, adding a little of the dressing at a time. the dressing is lemon juice and white wine and garlic and olive oil. i'm salivating!!! there are also capers, one of my favorite flavors.
the outcome was juicy, tangy, caramelized, bits of crunchy, then the hearts, soft and meaty. i couldn't believe how good a vegetable could be, without a cheese sauce or bacon on it. i mean, i eat healthy and i love vegetables. but we're talking petite filet mignon good. i'm not kidding. my fiance is religious about meat, so he might be skeptical of that statement, but i am very excited to try this recipe on him for valentine's day, WITH the filet mignon!! i mean the ring is already on the finger, but i might as well...
RECIPE #2: SUNDAY AFTERNOON, JANUARY 30
just before chorale rehearsal, i made page 23: ROASTED CAULIFLOWER AND GARLIC SOUP. roasted cauliflower, a whole head of roasted garlic, which is so yummy, and some onion, and that's really it for main ingredients. i added one piece of ham i had frozen from Christmas. i also added a little cheese and made an herb drizzle i had been wanting to create.
i'm interested in trying this soup again today and see if it has the same effect on me as it did last night. i felt bloated and miserable all during rehearsal. couldn't digest the stuff. maybe cauliflower is too strong for my delicate and high-maintenance digestion? (i have a serious, life-long case of IBS). probably. but there's also a chance that i have to reintroduce vegetables back into my system, after eating crappier foods these last few days.
if you feel sick when you first eat a lot of veggies, keep eating them. your body will get used to them and everything will work like a charm!!!
too much information? well get used to it. my life is seriously affected by my digestion...
tonight, while the weather gets worse and worse out, i am going to try a springy salad, to help me forget that it's january 31st and they're calling for a foot of snow and ice.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
BRAND NEW DAY
so yesterday, i felt like i was spiraling out of control. i was nervous, depressed, dreading (my least favorite emotion) and feeling completely lost. why? i still feel a weight on me this morning, but i was determined to do things right this morning, to avoid the serious panic that had set in by lunchtime yesterday.
the first issue is the fact that i go straight to e-mail in the morning. with coffee in hand, and it is delicious coffee, i try to chip away at the requests, "please respond right now" e-mails, scheduling issues and fiascos, and the students and parents who need constant attention. i must say, my heart starts racing, and i really start to get freaked out by my schedule during this time. it is much easier to just do all these things than to sit down with the schedule and try to fit them all in. don't look at the mountain, just drive around it.
so that's why i am blogging this morning, and hopefully every other morning. i have found myself at the computer again, out of habit, out of necessity, and i started checking the emails and, with each e-mail, i am reminded of the nagging to-do list, and the to-do's i need to add to it. ABORT MISSION. DO NOT GET CAUGHT UP IN THIS AGAIN. i get up early so that i can clear my mind, start my day on a positive note, work out, drink my coffee, enjoy my quiet apartment, and yes, get some things done. but when the scheduling and replying to e-mails takes up the whole morning and leaves me utterly overwhelmed, it must go away.
yesterday, i dreaded and fretted and worried about a rehearsal all day long. if i could have torn my hair out, i would have. my hair is the only strong thing about me. what's the line in "little women"? "jo, your one beauty!" my one strength, or so i feel some days. imagine my dismay when i have a bad hair day. nothing to live for!!!! anyway, i digress. i worried about that rehearsal all day long and when i got there, it was so much fun. it was the highlight of my day. i was ill-prepared and the piece was so hard ~ i didn't even know where to start looking at it. but when i got there, i was on. i sang it really well, for almost sightreading it, i have to admit. i wasted an entire day, fretting, worrying, being overcome with anxiety about it.
all of this stupidity brings me back to my 40 day mandala. here are my no's AGAIN:
NO ~ to fretting and worrying about rehearsals. most of the time, i show up and have a blast.
NO ~ to allowing the "to-do" list overwhelm me.
NO ~ to even making a to-do list. i've noticed sam doesn't ever freak out about the state of his bedroom floor, or getting to the post office to mail christmas presents to his family. he is not stressed out at all that they are still in my back seat. i'm the one who feels like a failure every time i drive by the post office and don't go in to mail them. why is it even on my to-do list?
NO ~ to letting the wedding give me any anxiety whatsoever. i am solidifying details of the wedding in january, so that i can be cool in april.
NO ~ to spending the entire morning ( my only time off ~ it's like my evening) in front of the computer, trying to organize and direct traffic. JUST COME TO YOUR LESSONS, PEOPLE!
NO ~ to more than one cup of coffee. i think any more than that just makes me weird.
NO ~ to any more gigs for the rest of the semester. i've reached my limit. seriously.
NO ~ to a dirty kitchen. i'm amazed at how much more calm i am when my kitchen is tidy. one of my mom's virtues she tried to bestow on my sister and me, was to make your bed in the morning. then everything will be a little clearer all day. i think it's clean your kitchen. but i get what she's saying.
NO ~ to putting off work. my work is so much fun. there's nothing about it that i should dread. this morning, i need to prepare for the french diction class i have begun teaching. i'm nervous to even open the book and make the lesson plans. it's not hard ~ i just have to do it. i guess maybe it's a little hard, since i've never taught a class before. i guess the unknown and fear of failing is in there. there is the fear that i need more time this morning than i have, to prepare today's lesson. surely not. surely it'll just take 30 minutes or at the most, an hour. but this is why i procrastinate. it's like i make my fear of not having enough time to prepare a reality. SICK.
but this blogging is helping me work out the kinks in my system. so YES ~ to blogging.
the first issue is the fact that i go straight to e-mail in the morning. with coffee in hand, and it is delicious coffee, i try to chip away at the requests, "please respond right now" e-mails, scheduling issues and fiascos, and the students and parents who need constant attention. i must say, my heart starts racing, and i really start to get freaked out by my schedule during this time. it is much easier to just do all these things than to sit down with the schedule and try to fit them all in. don't look at the mountain, just drive around it.
so that's why i am blogging this morning, and hopefully every other morning. i have found myself at the computer again, out of habit, out of necessity, and i started checking the emails and, with each e-mail, i am reminded of the nagging to-do list, and the to-do's i need to add to it. ABORT MISSION. DO NOT GET CAUGHT UP IN THIS AGAIN. i get up early so that i can clear my mind, start my day on a positive note, work out, drink my coffee, enjoy my quiet apartment, and yes, get some things done. but when the scheduling and replying to e-mails takes up the whole morning and leaves me utterly overwhelmed, it must go away.
yesterday, i dreaded and fretted and worried about a rehearsal all day long. if i could have torn my hair out, i would have. my hair is the only strong thing about me. what's the line in "little women"? "jo, your one beauty!" my one strength, or so i feel some days. imagine my dismay when i have a bad hair day. nothing to live for!!!! anyway, i digress. i worried about that rehearsal all day long and when i got there, it was so much fun. it was the highlight of my day. i was ill-prepared and the piece was so hard ~ i didn't even know where to start looking at it. but when i got there, i was on. i sang it really well, for almost sightreading it, i have to admit. i wasted an entire day, fretting, worrying, being overcome with anxiety about it.
all of this stupidity brings me back to my 40 day mandala. here are my no's AGAIN:
NO ~ to fretting and worrying about rehearsals. most of the time, i show up and have a blast.
NO ~ to allowing the "to-do" list overwhelm me.
NO ~ to even making a to-do list. i've noticed sam doesn't ever freak out about the state of his bedroom floor, or getting to the post office to mail christmas presents to his family. he is not stressed out at all that they are still in my back seat. i'm the one who feels like a failure every time i drive by the post office and don't go in to mail them. why is it even on my to-do list?
NO ~ to letting the wedding give me any anxiety whatsoever. i am solidifying details of the wedding in january, so that i can be cool in april.
NO ~ to spending the entire morning ( my only time off ~ it's like my evening) in front of the computer, trying to organize and direct traffic. JUST COME TO YOUR LESSONS, PEOPLE!
NO ~ to more than one cup of coffee. i think any more than that just makes me weird.
NO ~ to any more gigs for the rest of the semester. i've reached my limit. seriously.
NO ~ to a dirty kitchen. i'm amazed at how much more calm i am when my kitchen is tidy. one of my mom's virtues she tried to bestow on my sister and me, was to make your bed in the morning. then everything will be a little clearer all day. i think it's clean your kitchen. but i get what she's saying.
NO ~ to putting off work. my work is so much fun. there's nothing about it that i should dread. this morning, i need to prepare for the french diction class i have begun teaching. i'm nervous to even open the book and make the lesson plans. it's not hard ~ i just have to do it. i guess maybe it's a little hard, since i've never taught a class before. i guess the unknown and fear of failing is in there. there is the fear that i need more time this morning than i have, to prepare today's lesson. surely not. surely it'll just take 30 minutes or at the most, an hour. but this is why i procrastinate. it's like i make my fear of not having enough time to prepare a reality. SICK.
but this blogging is helping me work out the kinks in my system. so YES ~ to blogging.
Monday, January 24, 2011
i am so overwhelmed. there are so many irons in the fire and every time i chip away at the ole to-do list, there is something else that comes to mind and freaks me out. i feel like i'm getting somewhere, and then i realize i'm way behind on something else and should be getting that done, and i panic.
i officially have 15 minutes left until my time is up and i have to go to the gym. i know the world will not stop turning if i don't get these things accomplished, but they are weighing on me.
there's a rehearsal tonight and i have only opened the music 3 times, only to be overwhelmed after 5 minutes of study. it's too hard and i care too little.
i'm even too overwhelmed to make breakfast for myself, because when i go in there, the fridge is full of stinky food that needs to be thrown away, and i need to go to the grocery store. i can't just go in there and make myself an egg without thinking that there is so much i need to do in just that room alone.
there's a class to prepare for and teach tomorrow, makeups to schedule, music to learn, a dress to hem, my place is a mess, there's laundry, and worst of all, i'm exhausted from the weekend of performing out of town.
how on earth do people have time for children? i could never do it. my hat is off to you, mommies.
i officially have 15 minutes left until my time is up and i have to go to the gym. i know the world will not stop turning if i don't get these things accomplished, but they are weighing on me.
there's a rehearsal tonight and i have only opened the music 3 times, only to be overwhelmed after 5 minutes of study. it's too hard and i care too little.
i'm even too overwhelmed to make breakfast for myself, because when i go in there, the fridge is full of stinky food that needs to be thrown away, and i need to go to the grocery store. i can't just go in there and make myself an egg without thinking that there is so much i need to do in just that room alone.
there's a class to prepare for and teach tomorrow, makeups to schedule, music to learn, a dress to hem, my place is a mess, there's laundry, and worst of all, i'm exhausted from the weekend of performing out of town.
how on earth do people have time for children? i could never do it. my hat is off to you, mommies.
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
DAY 3
...of this wretched diet and i have officially lost my mind. my mouth tastes like a green onion and i am now sipping V8 out of a martini glass in the mornings.
coffee without sugar? will i ever get used to it? i'm only on day 3 and i'm sticking with no sugar in my coffee for the whole two weeks. then i will make my decision.
i would kill for an apple. it's amazing what you really crave when it comes down to it. i was sure i would say ~ i feel hungry and need carbs, like pasta. i do miss pasta, but i'm not hungry. my body is already working so much better than with all the carbs.
sam craves beer and gummy bears. and probably other things too, that really do fuel your energy, like pasta. he has long work days so i'm sure this is harder for him. and he's 6'4". that's a lot of body to fuel with turkey slices and cheese sticks.
there are some things about this diet, though, that i can already tell will stick with me. the V8 every morning is wonderful. the no alcohol thing ~ imperative. sure, i'll have a glass of wine a couple times a week, or less. but i feel everything working better inside already. and this feeling of not being hungry and empty like i felt with the carbs is really awesome. i made it through a whole 3-hour rehearsal last night, feeling satiated. that's new.
but i miss fruit. i'm glad i miss fruit. can't wait to add it back in. sam probably hates me for this, but i'm glad we're on it.
and the workouts. oh my gosh. i'm sore all over. as usual, my impatient self is ready to see results. after 2 days. RIDICULOUS!!
coffee without sugar? will i ever get used to it? i'm only on day 3 and i'm sticking with no sugar in my coffee for the whole two weeks. then i will make my decision.
i would kill for an apple. it's amazing what you really crave when it comes down to it. i was sure i would say ~ i feel hungry and need carbs, like pasta. i do miss pasta, but i'm not hungry. my body is already working so much better than with all the carbs.
sam craves beer and gummy bears. and probably other things too, that really do fuel your energy, like pasta. he has long work days so i'm sure this is harder for him. and he's 6'4". that's a lot of body to fuel with turkey slices and cheese sticks.
there are some things about this diet, though, that i can already tell will stick with me. the V8 every morning is wonderful. the no alcohol thing ~ imperative. sure, i'll have a glass of wine a couple times a week, or less. but i feel everything working better inside already. and this feeling of not being hungry and empty like i felt with the carbs is really awesome. i made it through a whole 3-hour rehearsal last night, feeling satiated. that's new.
but i miss fruit. i'm glad i miss fruit. can't wait to add it back in. sam probably hates me for this, but i'm glad we're on it.
and the workouts. oh my gosh. i'm sore all over. as usual, my impatient self is ready to see results. after 2 days. RIDICULOUS!!
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
one whole day of the south beach diet and i feel weird. my mouth tastes like metal. i feel dull and grey. but i'm loving the discipline of it all already.
the sun is coming up and i am so thrilled to have this whole day to myself. i have a gozillion things on my to-do list, but i have a nice long day to accomplish them. it feels good.
i love the start to the new year. i know it's pipe-dreamy to start new resolutions at this time of year, only to have abandoned them by valentine's day. but what if you stick to them? i'm going to stick to them. i love the new resolutions.
there's a cool unitarian tradition they do this time every year, called "the burning bowl" and "the white stone ceremony".
in the burning bowl service, you write down the thing that you want to get rid of from the past year, and take it up to a bowl that's lit on fire. the next sunday, you receive a white stone and you write down the one thing you want to see in the coming year.
so what's your burning bowl from 2010?
mine is about 15 pounds. i know it's supposed to be more spiritual and profound than that, but that is who i am. okay, fine. let's say, "i want to shed the negative weight in my life." you happy? :)
and what would be on your white stone for 2011?
two years ago, i put "a husband". and everyone chided me for not saying, "true love" or something more all-encompassing. but i didn't want something all-encompassing. i wanted a husband. a wonderful husband. i'm 37! i want a husband! and looky who was right about making her prayers specific? mmm hmmm.
so what to write this year?
is PEACE a copout? don't we always want that? how about a million dollars? naaa. i think i want the wisdom to always make time for the things that are truly important. yah, that's it. even if it means a little less money in the bank. so be it. God will supply. hasn't He always?
the things that are truly important, if i listed them, would probably take the place of a full-time job! but if i can just put them at the top of the list every day. being healthy, being quiet, being organized and on top of things like learning music, and making time for friends and family.
that's good stuff.
what's your burning bowl/white stone?
the sun is coming up and i am so thrilled to have this whole day to myself. i have a gozillion things on my to-do list, but i have a nice long day to accomplish them. it feels good.
i love the start to the new year. i know it's pipe-dreamy to start new resolutions at this time of year, only to have abandoned them by valentine's day. but what if you stick to them? i'm going to stick to them. i love the new resolutions.
there's a cool unitarian tradition they do this time every year, called "the burning bowl" and "the white stone ceremony".
in the burning bowl service, you write down the thing that you want to get rid of from the past year, and take it up to a bowl that's lit on fire. the next sunday, you receive a white stone and you write down the one thing you want to see in the coming year.
so what's your burning bowl from 2010?
mine is about 15 pounds. i know it's supposed to be more spiritual and profound than that, but that is who i am. okay, fine. let's say, "i want to shed the negative weight in my life." you happy? :)
and what would be on your white stone for 2011?
two years ago, i put "a husband". and everyone chided me for not saying, "true love" or something more all-encompassing. but i didn't want something all-encompassing. i wanted a husband. a wonderful husband. i'm 37! i want a husband! and looky who was right about making her prayers specific? mmm hmmm.
so what to write this year?
is PEACE a copout? don't we always want that? how about a million dollars? naaa. i think i want the wisdom to always make time for the things that are truly important. yah, that's it. even if it means a little less money in the bank. so be it. God will supply. hasn't He always?
the things that are truly important, if i listed them, would probably take the place of a full-time job! but if i can just put them at the top of the list every day. being healthy, being quiet, being organized and on top of things like learning music, and making time for friends and family.
that's good stuff.
what's your burning bowl/white stone?
Monday, January 03, 2011
2011: THE YEAR OF CHANGE
do we always say that at the beginning of the year? i don't think i do. my biggest thoughts at the mark of the new year are, "new year's eve ~ blech!" and "must remember to sign my checks with the correct year." now, checks are almost obsolete, my new year's eve was wonderful, and i have some serious changes happening in my life.
first change: i have committed myself (and sam) to phase one of the south beach diet, starting today. two weeks of basic body detox. I prepared all the breakfast and snack food, which is all my favorite stuff anyway. not too bad. and this morning i am drinking coffee with no sugar in it. also not that bad. oh, and no alcohol. that is really bad, actually. but i'm sure it'll feel amazing, health-wise.
this detox is just a kick start to the rest of the year of clean eating. i'm a big believer in clean eating, but have not been obeying my own beliefs, obviously. hence the muffin top. the trial period, and goal, is the big wedding day, coming may 28, complete with spaghetti-strapped, unforgiving wedding gown, and honeymoon pictures in swimsuits following right after. game on.
second change: i will start working out 6 days a week. starting today. and the workouts have been strategically scheduled into my day. changing a habit is the hardest thing you can do. and when the habit is that you don't follow a schedule? insurmountable.
i do think that following a schedule will make me happier, even though it is not something i do naturally. i must force it, but i think in the end, it will make those hours of work not seem so separated from those hours off.
third change: my studio is changing. i am teaching fewer students and teaching them longer. this is also my last semester to teach at home. i have taught voice at home for years, in between opera gigs and away concerts. i have worked hard to form a solid reputation in this area and have built up a great studio. but the excitement of having privacy in my home again and living downtown instead of in the suburbs, overshadows any sadness i feel about losing the studio.
fourth change: of course ~ it's the big one. i'm getting married. so exciting. it is VERY important, though, that this wedding and all its details and to-do lists does not stress me out. or it'll be like all those other weddings i've sung for, where you feel sorry for the bride, and even sorrier for the groom! i cannot let all the work in planning this little wedding overwhelm me. it goes against everything i believe in about weddings.
so there they are. the changes in 2011. probably more than that, but those are the biggies.
first change: i have committed myself (and sam) to phase one of the south beach diet, starting today. two weeks of basic body detox. I prepared all the breakfast and snack food, which is all my favorite stuff anyway. not too bad. and this morning i am drinking coffee with no sugar in it. also not that bad. oh, and no alcohol. that is really bad, actually. but i'm sure it'll feel amazing, health-wise.
this detox is just a kick start to the rest of the year of clean eating. i'm a big believer in clean eating, but have not been obeying my own beliefs, obviously. hence the muffin top. the trial period, and goal, is the big wedding day, coming may 28, complete with spaghetti-strapped, unforgiving wedding gown, and honeymoon pictures in swimsuits following right after. game on.
second change: i will start working out 6 days a week. starting today. and the workouts have been strategically scheduled into my day. changing a habit is the hardest thing you can do. and when the habit is that you don't follow a schedule? insurmountable.
i do think that following a schedule will make me happier, even though it is not something i do naturally. i must force it, but i think in the end, it will make those hours of work not seem so separated from those hours off.
third change: my studio is changing. i am teaching fewer students and teaching them longer. this is also my last semester to teach at home. i have taught voice at home for years, in between opera gigs and away concerts. i have worked hard to form a solid reputation in this area and have built up a great studio. but the excitement of having privacy in my home again and living downtown instead of in the suburbs, overshadows any sadness i feel about losing the studio.
fourth change: of course ~ it's the big one. i'm getting married. so exciting. it is VERY important, though, that this wedding and all its details and to-do lists does not stress me out. or it'll be like all those other weddings i've sung for, where you feel sorry for the bride, and even sorrier for the groom! i cannot let all the work in planning this little wedding overwhelm me. it goes against everything i believe in about weddings.
so there they are. the changes in 2011. probably more than that, but those are the biggies.
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