geez, i'm a bloggin' fool lately. it's so incredibly therapeutic for me. i read the pioneer woman and smitten kitchen blogs and they are like works of art. not really doing this, though, to be artistic. i'm doing this to keep balanced, remind myself of the stuff that really matters, and share it with anyone who might be on the same path.

all my friends, pretty much all, are singers. becky, amy, sylvia, denise, sharon, toni, lindsey, lindsay, kristee, ida, and there are more ~ these gorgeous women, who might hate that i just named them, are all on a generally similar path as me. juggling real life with artistic life. trying to be GREAT at both. i don't think any of these women ever want to be in the dark about anything. they are not content with stones left unturned or excelling at one thing and not another. in their maturity they may have taught themselves to say they're okay with it. but deep down, they're not.

excluding my mom, who just pretty much loves anything i write (if she could love a baby with a unibrow, it's not hard to love from there on out), these women are interested in singer talk. so why do i never talk singer talk on here?

just trying it on for size.

performance friday night. so moving. such beautiful women and friends up there, singing their hearts out, for the money? well, maybe "time IS money". but i would have made the same money if i had left my heart and soul at home. and you look out there at the audience, in topeka, kansas, and you think, "these people live in the capitol city of a state in the middle of nowhere. they've come to a concert on labor day weekend. they could have gone to the movies or stayed at home and grilled out. but they chose this. they deserve something special. and my colleagues deserve my 100% best as well.

anyway, we did it. and it felt so great. these are emotions i feel all the time because i sing all the time. so it's hard to really talk about them because they are just everyday normal emotions for singers. the nerves, the self-deprecation, the worry, the trying to let it go, the elation when it's over, yada yada. and then usually the review, or the audience comments, like, "how does that big sound come out of that little body?" or "i couldn't hear you. they should have miked you." and i will receive those contrasting comments from audience members at the same concert!

do all singers need therapy?

i think so...