happy monday, bloggers!!! is anybody out there? i have so many long-distance girlfriends. i never know exactly what's going on in their lives. hope all you wonderful women are doing well!
i don't know if it's just because the weather is getting better, but i feel like i'm emerging from a deep dark hole i've been in for months. it's sunny out there this morning and i have an easy week ~ those are two words i have not put together in months as well!
so here's what i'm pondering this morning: how do we find the balance between stressing out and pushing ourselves too hard, and working hard for our future goals while being happy and content with where we are right now?
what are your goals for the future? my biggest goal is to build a singing career for myself that truly honors the gift God gave me. it's so hard to trust that what i'm doing right now is enough, and that if God wants me to have a career, i will. it's about God wanting me to sing, not joe director, who snubs me because i don't look and sound like renee fleming. no matter how it looks, the marionette strings are not really being pulled by the corrupt people in the opera biz. it's really God pulling those strings.
i read last night in my new joyce book, "woman to woman; candid conversations from me to you" (i'm obsessed, aren't i?)...this is what she wrote...
I AM GOING TO SHARE WITH YOU FOUR THINGS THAT I THINK LEAD TO FEELINGS OF DISCONTENTMENT, ESPECIALLY AMONG WOMEN.
1. GREED...
2. FEAR...
3. LACK OF TRUST IN GOD (3 and 4 are the ones i care about the most this morning)
SIMPLE TRUST IN GOD BRINGS US INTO A PLACE OF REST. (rest???? rest???? just saying the word makes me cry!!!) ROMANS 15:13 SAYS, "MAY THE GOD OF YOUR HOPE SO FILL YOU WITH ALL JOY AND PEACE IN BELIEVING THAT BY THE POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT YOU MAY ABOUND AND BE OVERFLOWING WITH HOPE." JOY AND PEACE ARE FOUND IN BELIEVING.
4. LOOKING FOR CONTENTMENT IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES!!!!! THE PROPHET JEREMIAH REFERS TO LOOKING FOR SATISFACTION IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES AS DIGGING EMPTY WELLS THAT HAVE NO WATER IN THEM. THE ANSWER TO MY CONSTANT FRUSTRATION CAME WHEN I RECEIVED THE REVELATION THAT MY SATISFACTION HAD TO BE IN CHRIST JESUS. I CAME TO KNOW WHAT A PRIVILEGE IT WAS TO LIVE UNDER HIS GUIDANCE, TRUSTING THAT HE WOULD NEVER FAIL ME, NOT FORSAKE ME.
so, i'm gathering from all of this that spending more time with God and focusing on Him is the only way to reduce stress, feel contentment, and enjoy actual rest. it seems like i'm always complaining about not having enough ME time. time to get my house in order, time to clear my mind and prepare myself for the day. but maybe all this time, i needed more KNEE time. time on my knees, getting closer to God. i thought success would come if i had all my ducks in a row. and that does help. but if i fill my whole day with getting my to-do list accomplished, there will still be another list tomorrow, and i'm starting to see that this is not going to bring me the contentment and success that i thought it would.
of course, this makes me want to cut up my long to-do list and do nothing all morning but read the Bible and pontificate! that's not it either! there has to be a balance and some day, i'm gonna figure it out!
3 comments:
oh yes, balance of life, family, career, faith, all of those things can seem to be overwhelming to me at times. i must say that figuring all of this out now is probably a good thing, especially with no kids because once they come, you can obsess on them too. i know that i do. the best thing that i can do right now, for me that is, is to remember to thank the Lord for all of the many blessings that are in my life. i feel lately that i have been leaning on Him too much, well, not too much but i forget to think Him for all of the good things. i get the "cantankerous or can't thank Him enough" syndrome going. balance of that too is also important - don't complain all the time but also don't forget to lean on the Lord when you need him. (i am rambling now) anyway...good post and i hope we are both well enough to get some lunch soon!!
yes, jazzmomma, you're right. this is the time for me to figure all this out. i had a hard time yesterday because i realized that i was stressed because i was heartbroken, not because anybody really relied on me or needed me. i cried all day, realizing how self-centered my life is. believe me, i don't want it that way. i would much rather give love all the time than have "me" time. i feel like, being a woman at 33, i'm this machine made for nesting, loving, nurturing, giving of myself in every way. i know i'll have a family some day, and it will be stressful and impossible to balance. but no matter how balanced i try to be at this stage of my life, i know something's missing. at the end of the day, i still don't have a family to care for. i never thought i'd feel that way! i'm working with God to slowly move those thoughts to the back burner, now that i realize they're even there!
this is from my good friend laura, a marvelous opera singer who lives in new york city, and teaches music in harlem? isn't that right, laura?
I'm reading an awesome book that I picked up at
Borders called, "The power of positive thinking" by
Norman Vincent Peale. I had read a tiny snippet of
this book YEARS ago when I was in high school and I
loved it, so when I saw it in the bookstore I freeked!
Well, little did I know that it is SO full of bible
passages and putting faith in God, exactly what I
needed.
Chapter One: BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
and the way you do it is by trusting in God. He
recommends filling your mind with faith by repeating
simple bible passages like "I can do all things in
Christ which strengthens me" over and over so that the
fearful thoughts no longer have room in there. AND,
my favorite, thinking of yourself as always 10%
stronger, better, ect because of God's power with you.
I used this thought for an audition yesterday. I got
as prepared as I could, and then rested in the belief
that my perf would be even 10% better than my best!
Chapter Two: A PEACEFUL MIND GENERATES POWER
talking about 2x/day consciously emptying your mind,
dropping all the fears and insecurities and things you
don't need to hold onto. Then you fill your mind with
peaceful thoughts, bible passages, memories of
fabulous things you've done, and stay in that peaceful
place of rest. The other thing is to practice
silence, or meditate to become closer to God and what
He wants for you. Make your mind a calm ocean.
Chapter Three: HOW TO HAVE CONSTANT ENERGY
I'm about to read this tonight! I can't wait, I have
to teach 4th graders tomorrow!!
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